Hello :))))
I just woke up! :)
Now i eating noodles damnnice :D but i very full! :D
But of cource im still going to finish eating it.
These few days keep eating sleep eating sleep watch tv play comp blablaboring life but ohwells :D
Not in the mood and very lazzy go out so i feel abit bad smths always pangseh my frens.
Todayyyyyyy chinese oral, not very good hahaha.
Aft that go tamp eat with the guys (see ah i eat )
Then go huat house slack awhile, should have gone home change but lazy~
Then later go tamp wanna watch the Monga.
Nc 16! some of us manage sneak in i guess?
Hahahah, but some of us cant cause school uniform! ):
i kinda wanna watch the movie with..
LOL, but nevermind so me and huat go eat mcflurry ftw,
Then some of us went to his house agnnnnn
wasnt that bad
watch phobia 2 quite okay ;)
The last fift(omg i suddenly forget how spell fifth) eh okremmber -.-
story was quite hilarious.
Then watch alr then play taiti,
quite fun haha!
Then the guys came huat house so i went home as they were gonna play ball :D
feel so moved today i had smilies wanna cry hahahahah!

strangers are better.

At this stage, i rather be strangers.
Haha
eh i guan xin you lah
lol, hais.
)))))))))))))))))):
What more can i want?
you dont even care ):
promises are nothing then
You will never understand,
i hope u look me in the eyes and stab me
haha nights, i wanna be a superhero ):
):
):
Hais.
zzzzzzz
life is meaningless :D
everybody got somebody and i have nobody
hahahaha
lol, my fault kay.
but what regret can do? nth,
not fair, i want time to go back.
lol, u dont seem to get smths girls do things to make
u jealous, but its not worth it, im so misunderstood.
i hate myself :D

sorry abt the negative post yesterday :/
Guess im feeling better.
Not feeling better also no point right :)
haha, okay the day was not bad.
I kinda ok with them
tessa and weishan and carolyn quite nice
I like them alot.
haha, looking forward to what we practised ^^ quite hilarious.
Excited, but of cause mid years comes first.
Just now taking the taxi i wondered what impact would it have on the human body if someone suddenly ipens the door and jumps out. :O all the oncoming cars how?
haha weird thought omg.
hais, sad but not able to do anything,
But i really want to, really ):
))):
)':
but there's nth i can do.

i can hear the bells; but i seriously cant.
think of me, think of me falling when u say goodbye.
I was trying to fly but i couldnt find wings
then u came along, and changed everything.
You lift my feet off the ground spin me around you made me crazier crazier

I dont wanna talk about it
It makes me wanna cry
Every time I pour out my emotions
I feel emptier inside
I don't know how to play it like I'm not in love with you,
But I'll try Even though I do...still
Miss you
Just like the air that I breathe
I need you
With me
I'm not gonna lie
I cant imagine my life
With out you but I
Suppose I will survive...
I'm not gonna play myself
Every time my cell rings
Checkin for your name
I promise that
I'll never tell You how I feel
And I know that you dont feel the same
Did you think that you could hurt me so
I just gotta let you go
Everytime I find myself alone
ooooh I...
Miss you
Just like the air that I breathe
I need you
With me
I'm not gonna lie
I cant imagine my life
With out you but I
Suppose I will survive...
Dont try to explain
Why your love's changed
Boy you really broke my heart this time
I wont let it take away my pride
or Who I have inside
Boy I'm torn between
every thing how could
I feel nothing
I woulda done anything
If it would mean
I could make you love me
You're the one I need
But you still believe
We can never be...
And I miss you
More than the air that
I breathe
I need you
With me
I'm not gonna lie
And I can't imagine myself
Without you but
I suppose I will survive
I'll be fine, dont worry about me
I'll be okay

till u i was nothing but lonely nights now all are left are sad goodbyes

I thought i was alright until just now.
Last time i didnt like to be alone yet now i found it actually quite normal alr.
Walked down hill alone,
all quiet.
I think alot wanted to exploit all my emotions here but i guess its not that worth it.
I feel very alone
i've changed if you remembered knowing me when i was sec 2.
Everything around was so free then, didnt have to worry abt anything.
Love can make u feel like the happiest thing in the world yet at the same time
it can also make u feel the exact opposite.
I have always been the onlooker not really experiencing these type of things myself.
Didnt think it was worth it.
Didnt really give a damn abt it.
Just wanted to enjoy life with my frens.
Yet now, i am no longer who i used to be.
People who doesnt know me
might think i am very cheerful and stuff
but i dont think so. not anymore.
I am not as innocent, i didnt want to grow up.
I didnt have a choice, why must reality be so cruel?
Why do i always screw up everything,
Last year was hectic,
Many stuffs happened.
It was the first time smone made me felt this way, didnt want to try anything abt it though.
I dont understand, i thought i was different.
Many ppl warned me what i was getting into
I didnt have a choice did i?
I make wrong decisions, but nobody actually gave me a chance.
I was just trying to be nice. I dont see what i did wrong.
It was just my first time why dont u guys understand nor see it?
I didnt want to be who i am now.
I didnt want it,
I did try my very best to change.
With new frens and all.
It just showed me how caught up i was in my perfect world and everything.
Indeed, the world is far from perfect,
circumstances, i had to grow up, had to be more mature,
I know i dont fit into this clique because i am different.
I am very crazy, retarded and tomboyish type of person.
I used to laugh about nothing, but now im plain boring.
someone showed me what i was worth, but now im worthless of cause.
someone doubted me, but i dont think i was that kind of person.
Are u that kind of person. someone whom everybody says u were.
But i believed u.
but why u doubt me because u were afraid im like you?
Someone made the year feel better for me of cause.
But within the past few hours i realised another thing
I have never mattered, i guess i was just another toy who looked cute.
Im a toy, an interesting toy that u found interesting at the beginning.
You talked to me.
I gave u chances but u didnt give me.
Why are u so cruel and didnt give me time,
You never had the courage to clarify, until the end.
But you are not the beginner at this, i was.
But i know this world is unfair.
didnt think you would be the one who would drive me into the corner.
You were the last one i thought who will do this.
But i shallnt harp abt it anymore. I have never felt good enough,
didnt have confidence, feel far than inferior.
Right now though, the world may seem crowded.
around me and anything.
But i know that nothing is going to change, nth is going to come,nth is going get restarted
Tanying and all has their own frens and things will never be the same.
CCA ended and all my frens are all concentrated with their studies.
I am here but i feel so left out
so left out.
It'll never be the same.
I'll never be the same.
If only i have the power to restart or even have the confidence to just end it all.
I find everything meaningless now.
I have the clique.
But im only close to her.
And she will not be there for me all the time its not her job.
I really feel alone.
Im so upset but who cares right?
fucking retarded and caught up in this mess i hate myself to the core
i hope the rain would drown me or hopefully just by surprise smth comes and end it all since i dont
have that amount of courage.
sorry.
going school, i hope everything around me dissapears.
having a headache.
But obviously u will never know how i feel because u dont even know me.
u said u clarified but if u actually think carefully,
u gave me hope and then crushed it
u didnt exactly clarifyed it to the core
u told her u regretted what you were, if u had the chance u wanna change that.
i also right? but no one is going to give us the chance.
right now u just make me doubt u endlessly
flamboyant.
sorry
sorry i know i suck at keeping my emotions close
but this time i think this is good enough

thought it over
i'm feeling much better nw
don't feel bad
its ok
sorry for being a burden and all
esp when im so heavy and fat
haha..
studies most impt
tdae quite glad didnt flunk emaths test that bad
careless and all but i guess its quite ok considering
that my emotions were super unstable those days
so i dint study
hais eugenia slackslackslack
I shall study hard
lol..
wanna get that sense of achievement.
I will try and move on
even though its quite hard
cause u dont see me liddat
penetrating my heart is hard plus im a weirdo
heh, shall go study amaths later ):
I dunno differciation well (see i dont even know how to spell )
sadddddddddddd

I can honestly say.
You've been on my mind since i woke up today.
I look at your photograph all the time.
These memories came back to life, and i don't mind.
Remembering those simple things,
Remember till i cry.
But the one thing I wish i'd forget.
The memory i wish i'd forget is goodbye.
I woke up this morning and played all the songs.
And throwing up my tears, i sang along.
I picked up the phone and then put it down.
Cause i know i'm wasting my time
but i don't mind.
How do i get closer to you?
When you keep it all on mute.
Cause your not a man,
Your just a mannequin.
I wish you could feel
my love is real
but your not a man.
I dont wanna feel like this.
I dont wanna freak you out
but i
think that i might said too much
didnt mean to
think i might have said its you and i
guess i should leave this behind
guess i should erase and rewind
but somehow i cant seem to stay away
i dont wanna sound desperate
but i am
so say that you'll come around
i dont want to stand in line
like i used to
i dont want to have to scream and shout
cause im the kind of girl that sticks like a tatoo
yea im the kind of girl that wears you out
you never do return my calls
its like we never met at all
but no matter what
iwawfu
iwfu
iwfu

what if

dont speak i cant believe this is happening, our situation isnt right,get real who you playing with, i never thought you be like this. you were supposed to be there by my side. When u said that u want me i just dont believe it, your're always ready to give up and never turn around.

what if i need you baby? would you even try and save me? Or would you find some lame excuse to never be true. what if i said i loved you? would you be the one to run to? or would you watch me walk away, without a fight.

Im so sick of worrying that ya gonna quite over anything. I could trip and you let go like that. Everything that we ever were seems to fade but not the hurt. Cause you dont know all the good things from the bad. when i say that i want you, you know that i mean it. and in my hour of weakness theres still time to try.

Everytime i try to speak you stop me. cause every little thing i say is wrong. You say your noticing but u never see, this is who i really am that you cant believe. makes me wanna know right now issit me you'll live without, or would u change your mind? what if i need you.

Empty

Everytime i feel sad or what, i'll just come to this dead blog..
I dunno, i have never felt so sad before.
Maybe i shall private this blog soon.
I feel so lost.
Its all my fault anyway.
I have always took things for granted.
If only time can be turned.
I'll do anything.
I dont mind giving up anything.
But now i know, studies are the most important.
So right now, in my life, the most happiest thing i can do is just to study only.
Why did everything pass so fast.
Yet everything is still vivid.
I really did try, maybe i didnt try harder enough?
Or my character is really that sucky.
Everytime smth happens u will be here.
Now you are not even here when i just want a there.
everything can make me cry but this makes me feel like dying
I must be brave. No breakdowns in school or at home i do not allow myself to.
But i cant. But its okay.
I really wish that i can sleep forever and fade.
I will be brave afterall if i do smth really stupid my parents will be the ones who suffer.
What did u tell me when i was sec 3 i still could remember. we werent even that close.
So right now i think being strangers are actually better.
But i cant.
Why must things be like this.
So sorry.
Why couldnt i tell?
I am really stupid
but I dont deserve any pity.
sorry...
Am i a replacement?
8 more months.
This time of last year u said i was cute.
stupid msn history.
But why must i study hard.
I alr have no goals or motivation.
No. mood. to. do. anything.
But i must, yea yea i know. haha
Music is very nice.
But some genres just makes me..
I'll try my best to be a dead person.
Cause dead person has no feelings right.
Or i'll zoom all the way outside planet earth and see
that im not even a dot. so my emotions are worth nothing just like me.
There are those who are in much worser situations.
I still have mouth nose eyes and ears.

Maybe i should go be a christian haha heard that its actually good..
my ochey very pain, but thanks for pinching me awake.lol.

Cause i dont wanna know if its the last time.
Please dont say if its a so.
Tell my heart is not goodbye.
And do this one thing for me.
Make up some stupid story now.
Its alright, keep the truth and tell me lies.

I'll put his picture down and maybe get some sleep tonight.
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar.
The onlything that keeps me wishing on a wishing star.
The only one who's got enough me to break my heart.
He's the song in the car. I keep singing only why i do.
He looks at me i fake a smile so he wont see (: